If I Knew Then
by BryonieAnne
Summary: Songfic to If I Knew Then by Lady Antebellum. Ron reflects on the past while Hermione sleeps beside him! This is also a chapter in my Just A Kiss story but it works well as a one shot too!


**This is a chapter from my Just A Kiss story, but I originally wrote it as a one shot, so I'm putting it up as that too! :D**_  
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_The first time that I saw you looking like you did  
>We were young, we were restless<br>Just two clueless kids_

Ron Weasley looked down at Hermione's sleeping form. As the days blurred and Ron watched his life crumble around him, he knew one thing was concrete. He knew his love would never change. The trio were planning on leaving to break into Gringotts (Gringotts of all bloody places) tomorrow, and Ron knew what would come after that. He shuddered slightly and Hermione nuzzled closer into his side. Ron knew the battle with Voldemort was fast approaching, so he felt it was important to reminisce on the good times, in case the worst case scenario happened.

He closed his eyes tight and thought back to the Yule Ball and how Hermione had looked. He could feel himself drift into the memory, fully living it again.

He fiddled with his horrifying dress robes, wondering when Hermione would show up. He wanted to talk to her, because he felt pretty stupid for asking her too late. He wanted to apologize and then maybe she'd tell him to dance with her. Then maybe they would dance and laugh, and maybe he would get to hold her. He could feel his cheeks heat up at the thought.

"Oy, there's Hermione." Harry nudged Ron hard in the ribs. He looked up towards where Harry was looking and could feel his heart stop.

She was beautiful. No, wait, more than beautiful. It was inhuman, the way she looked right now. Ron had to squeeze his mouth shut to keep his jaw from falling to the floor. He'd always thought she was gorgeous, but seeing her like that took the cake.

Her dress skimmed lightly over her body, not showing any skin, but revealing to Ron all of her curves and lines. He could see the line of her hips and the indent of her navel. He didn't even notice the color of the dress, he was so wrapped up in her. Her normally bushy hair was tamed, but the odd stray hair popped out, showing she was still Hermione. She had makeup on, her eyelids were gold and her eyes stood out to him as the biggest orbs in the world. The perfect curve of her chin longed to be touched and he ached to walk up to her, take her by the hand, and lead her away. Away from everything in the world. Away from the Triwizard cup, away from Voldemort, and away from Hogwarts. He wanted to lead her to a place where they were just Ron and Hermione, not two thirds of the golden trio. He wanted to be somewhere where they could just be two kids, learning about love and friendship. He wanted to experience all the regular kid experiences with her.

But, instead, they were standing in Hogwarts, with the weight of the world on their shoulders, and Ron wasn't just a boy staring at a beautiful girl. He was Harry Potter's sidekick, staring at the smartest witch in Hogwarts. He caught her eye, and she smiled at him, the kind of genuine smile that comes from the heart, and Ron's brain seemed to malfunction.

_But if I knew then what I know now  
>I'd fall in love<em>

He didn't remember now what they'd fought about that night. Probably something to do with Krum, but it didn't much matter to him. He knew he wasn't thinking straight. In fact, when Hermione looked like that he couldn't even form a coherent thought; he had to depend on Harry for help. He laughed slightly at the memory of his stupid old self, and in his head he remembered when he'd been even more stupid.

And so, one memory faded to the next.

_You're on a bus in Chicago, three rows to the left  
>You know my heart is reaching for you<br>But we never even met_

Ron thought back to his first time on the Hogwarts Express, sitting next to the famous Harry Potter, and counting his lucky stars. He and Harry had become fast friends, and were now stuffing their faces with all sorts of wizard delicacies. Ron had never seen so many chocolate frogs, every flavor beans, or pumpkin pasties in his entire life! He felt as though he was in heaven. Or, so he thought, until she walked in.

A girl of eleven pulled the compartment door open and popped her head in the entrance. Ron was immediately entranced by the look of her. Her hair was bushy and her front teeth were too big, but Ron seemed to like that about her. To him, everything about her was perfect. He was staring at the shape of her mouth, and the curve of her nose, and the depth of her eyes, when Harry elbowed him in the side.

"She wants to know if you've seen a toad." Harry held back a laugh.

Ron shook his head quickly, before aiming a fist at Harry's head. He ducked, and in the flurry of motion, the girl had caught sight of Harry's scar. Before the two boys knew it, she was in the compartment, interrogating Harry. He answered her questions politely, and after a while she seemed to run out of questions. She introduced herself as Hermione Granger. Ron mouthed her name and it seemed to roll off his tongue in a nice way.

"And, you are?" the question was aimed at the redhead and Ron seemed to come out of a daze.

He saw her looking at him questioningly and it took Ron a minute to remember what the question was. Her gaze was so intense that he lost his train of thought, as would happen for the rest of his life.

"R-Ron We-Weasley," he choked.

_But if I knew then what I know now  
>I'd fall in love<em>

She smiled politely at him and left and Ron stared after her, wishing she would stay.

"Blimey, Ron, stop drooling and let's get changed." Harry chuckled.

'_Cause love only comes once in a while  
>And knocks on your door and throws you a smile<br>And takes every breath and leaves every scar  
>Speaks through your soul and sings to your heart<em>

Ron laughed at the stupidity of his younger self. At least when Hermione was around now, he could cover up his staring. He had learned to listen intently when she spoke, so he wouldn't miss anything she said.

It seemed odd to Ron that he had ever actually lived before he met Hermione, or Harry for that matter. He could barely remember a time when the bushy haired angel wasn't yelling at him about not finishing homework, or when the boy who lived wasn't playing wizard chess with him. It was weird that the eleven years without them didn't come close to matching the seven with them. He knew he wouldn't give them up for anything.

_But if I knew then what I know now  
>I'd fall in love<em>

Ron thought back to his worst memory of all. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget, and he would blame himself for the rest of his life.

_On a summer night in August, backseat of my car  
>Instead of trying to get to know you<br>I took it way too far_

Ron and Hermione were sitting in the tent, somewhere in the forest of Dean, while Harry kept watch outside. It was Ron's turn to wear the locket, and it was starting to have an effect on him. Normally, the locket would make him grumpy, hungry, and jealous. This time, though, Harry wasn't around, so there was no one to be jealous of. He had just eaten, so being hungry wouldn't make sense, and he couldn't be grumpy staring into the eyes of Hermione Granger. No, this time the locket affected him in a different way, and he couldn't tell if it was better or worse.

With Harry gone, the locket seemed to grab hold of his most primal instincts. It made him hungry for the taste of Hermione, ache for the feeling of her skin and long for _her_.

He clenched his eyes shut and tried to drive the feeling away but it was of no use. It wasn't going away, and pretty soon it would force him to act on it. He was gripping the edge of the chair when he felt Hermione's hands on his neck.

"Let me take the locket now, Ron. You've had it long enough." She smiled at him and it only made everything worse. He leaped off the chair and backed away from her.

"No, it's fine." He growled at her. She cocked her head and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Are you all right, Ron?" she moved closer towards him.

"Hermione… please…" he had no more room to move back, his calves were up against the side of his cot. He needed her to give him space, but he couldn't tell her. He knew he needed to get away from her, but the locket wouldn't let him move.

"Please what? Whatever you want, I'll get for you. Whatever you want," she said, not understanding. He wanted to tell her what he was feeling, he wanted to tell her that she couldn't be near him right now, or else he would lose control and give in to the lust the locket was filling him with. But when he opened his mouth to tell her, he found he had no voice. And so he was stuck, unable to rid himself of the temptation, and unable to hold it back. She came closer to him and he braced himself.

_But if I knew then what I know now  
>I'd fall in love<em>

He woke up in agony. Hermione was kneeling on the floor beside him, her hair messy and her eyes wild. He lay on his cot twisting and turning remembering what had happened.

He had kissed her, and she had kissed him back. She was smiling and cooing sweet words in his ear. Ron heard her words and his heart broke, because he was merely a spectator. His body was moving on its own, fueled by the horcrux around his neck. His hands traveled farther than they usually did, and he tried to cry out. _It's not supposed to happen this way!_ His mind screamed, _Hermione, run away, please!_ But the words died in his head, and she was never given a chance.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she seemed to back away from his kisses. Ron rejoiced. "Ron, you're being a little rough." She stated.

_Go Hermione! Leave me now!_ He begged, but the words were never spoken. He ached to control his body, and move his arms from their confining position around her. He sobbed inwardly and cursed himself. His hand moved forward and pushed Hermione back onto his cot. He then leaned down so his body was touching hers. His hands began to move and his mouth began to nip and bite at her lips. She wiggled under him; she wasn't comfortable with what he was doing.

"Ron, you need to slow down," she demanded, and he could hear the anger in her voice now.

His head shook of its own accord and he slammed his mouth against hers. Ron was fuming now, mad that he couldn't make his own body move, and mad that it was hurting her. He heard her cry out and he noticed that he'd bit her so hard her lip had started to bleed. Ron's mind was spinning out of control, he was upset and furious, but was unable to do anything about it. He cried and cursed, screamed and sobbed, but no matter what he did, the locket never gave up control of his body.

Could he even call it _his body_ anymore? It wasn't acting on his orders. All his orders were completely disregarded. Now, it seemed to him, it was the locket's body.

Ron watched in horror as the locket's hands started to undo the buttons on Hermione's pants. Hermione screamed, and hexed him. He saw a flash of light before he blacked out.

'_Cause love only comes once in a while  
>And knocks on your door and throws you a smile<br>And takes every breath, leaves ever scar  
>Speaks through your soul and sings to your heart<em>

Ron stopped tossing in his cot once he remembered what had happened, and he made his hand reach towards the spot the locket had been. Hermione showed him with a mirror what the locket had done to his chest.

There was a burn mark the size of a locket directly over his heart, and there were burn lines creeping away from the source around his chest to his back. He clawed at the mark, trying to make it go away. He wanted to forget what had happened. He could feel hot tears fall down his cheeks as he scratched at the burn. Hermione pulled his hand away, and placed a wet cloth over the scar. She ran her fingers through his hair and cooed at him, saying nothing was wrong, and he was okay now.

"Hermione…" he started, but she shushed him.

"I know." She smiled weakly and leaned her head on his chest.

"It wasn't me, I swear it. I-I couldn't control my body, Hermione. It was… I couldn't… I tried so hard…"

She shushed him again. "Ron, I know. I guess I knew something wasn't right. Sorry for hexing you." She smiled a little brighter and Ron couldn't help but get caught up in its glow.

"Hermione, I was begging you to hex me the whole time," he laughed.

_But if I knew then what I know now  
>I'd fall in love<em>

He looked down at her sleeping form and watched her ribcage move up and down, up and down with her breath. She looked so peaceful, sleeping next to him, as though this was where she belonged. She was the missing piece to his puzzle and now that he had her, he would never let her go.

_Whoa, I used up a lot of chances, but you give them back  
>But if again it comes crawling<br>I'm gonna make it last_

Ron laughed loudly as he remembered how many times since first year he'd made Hermione angry. He didn't think he could count them on two hands. It seemed to him that their bickering was what had brought them so close. He wouldn't know near as much about her as he did now if it wasn't for their fighting. It seemed when they were arguing her walls would fall down, and she was raw, gritty Hermione. He laughed again, and she started.

"What's so funny," she yawned, "that has got you laughing for the past half hour?"

"Just thinking about what made me fall in love with you." Ron grinned.

"Think about it in the morning," Hermione grunted, "because right now I'm kinda mad at you for waking me up."

'_Cause love only comes once in a while  
>And knocks on your door and throws you a smile<br>It takes every breath, leaves every scar  
>Speaks through your soul and sings to your heart<br>And if I knew then what I know now  
>Whoa, if I knew then what I know now<br>__**I'd fall in love**_

**I love reviews :) I hope you like it!**

**Bry**


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